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PROMISE KEEPING: A FUTURE WITH HOPE

Building Great Relationships, Part 2

Jeremiah 29:10-14; 2 Corinthians 1:18-20

May 13, 2007 – Mother’s Day

Pastor Bob Sanders

Last week one of you figured I’d be searching for something meaningful to say to mothers today, and so you sent me a brief article carried by the Associated Press about the value of a mom’s work.  It reads:

Most of us would agree that a mother’s job is priceless.  But the folks at Salary.com take time every year to figure out how much the actual work is worth.  This year they say the work of a stay-at-home mom would command an annual salary of more than $138,000.  That’s up about three percent from last year. 

It goes on to say:

For working mothers, the amount is put at more than $85,000 this year.  That is on top of any money earned in the workplace. 

To which the sender (herself a mother and a grandmother) adds:

So where do I pick up my paycheck???

And all God’s people (especially those who happen to be mothers) said together: Amen!

I don’t do salary negotiation.  But speaking for all the children and husbands here today, I can tell you we are deeply grateful for the work you do, and the love with which you do it.  You are indeed priceless.  Happy Mother’s Day.

This is the second in a series of messages on Building Great Relationships, and it’s not just for mothers.  It’s for all of us who want to build relationships that last, relationships tough enough to survive life’s ups and downs.  It’s about relationships based on promises and the power of a promise to create a future with hope.  Listen for this theme in our Scripture readings, first from Jeremiah 29 and then from 2 Corinthians 1. 

Jeremiah 29:10-14

10For thus says the Lord: Only when Babylon’s seventy years are completed will I visit you, and I will fulfill to you my promise and bring you back to this place. 11For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope. 12Then when you call upon me and come and pray to me, I will hear you. 13When you search for me, you will find me; if you seek me with all your heart, 14I will let you find me, says the Lord, and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you, says the Lord, and I will bring you back to the place from which I sent you into exile.

2 Corinthians 1:18-20

18As surely as God is faithful, our word to you has not been “Yes and No.” 19For the Son of God, Jesus Christ, whom we proclaimed among you, Silvanus and Timothy and I, was not “Yes and No”; but in him it is always “Yes.” 20For in him every one of God’s promises is a “Yes.”  For this reason it is through him that we say the “Amen,” to the glory of God.

Extraordinary Promises

One of my responsibilities as a pastor is to listen and pray as ordinary people make some extraordinary promises. 

Example: A young man and a young woman stand before a gathering of family and friends.  They’ve been dating for the past year or so, and been engaged for the last seven months.  In other words, they barely know each other.  They have no idea what the next year, let alone the next forty years, will hold.  But in the face of all that’s unknown and uncertain, they clasp hands and make a promise:

…to have and to hold from this time forth; for better, for worse; for richer, for poorer; in sickness and in health; to love and to cherish till death do us part.

Another example: A mother and father stand before the congregation and present their infant daughter for baptism, silently praying she won’t start crying or spit up on the pastor.  They have very little idea how to be parents, to say nothing of being Christian parents.  They cannot foresee the blessings and the challenges this little one will bring.  But they stand before us and bravely make this promise:

…in dependence on the grace of God, to bring up this child in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, to the end that one day she will confess Jesus Christ as her Savior and Lord.

One more example: A nice looking group of men and women meet with our Session, the ruling body of this congregation.  They’ve just completed a New Member seminar and decided to join our church.  They don’t know many people here yet and they aren’t sure what will be asked of them in the days to come.  But they stand as one and make this remarkable promise:

…to be a faithful member of this congregation, giving of ourselves in every way, seeking the fellowship of the church wherever we may be.

These are amazing, awesome promises, and I thank God for people who make them and try to keep them.  I thank God for men and women who cling tenaciously to their marriage vows.  I thank God for parents who take seriously their baptismal vows.  And I thank God for Christians who commit themselves to a less-than-perfect church as faithful members. 

But why do we make such promises?  And why bother to keep them?  Lots of people today duck out on their commitments, refusing to be bound by something as flimsy as a promise.  Why should we tie ourselves down?  Why not leave your options open?  Why not stay free to bail out if and when the going gets tough?  Songwriter Paul Simon spoke for my generation when he sang, “There must be fifty ways to leave your lover” (to say nothing of your marriage and your family, your friends and your church). 

Why make and keep promises in this afraid-of-commitment kind of world?

Create a Future

I can think of at least three reasons.  One is the fact that we face an uncertain future.  No one knows what will happen to any of us tomorrow or next month or ten years from now – where or what we’ll be, where or what the world will be.  And the only things we can hang on to in that uncertain future are the promises we give and the promises we receive from others.  When someone makes you a promise, that person is saying, “No matter what happens in the future, you can count on one thing.  You can count on me.  I’ll be there for you.  I promise.” 

And that promise is what creates a future for us – a future with hope.  That promise provides a bit of certainty in the midst of all the uncertainty that lies ahead.  Several years ago I came across these words by Dr. Lew Smedes of Fuller Seminary that say it so well:

When you make a promise, you tie yourself to other persons by the unseen fiber of loyalty.  You agree to stick with people you are stuck with.  When everything else tells them they can count on nothing, they can count on you.  When they do not have the faintest notion of what in the world is going on around them, they will know that you are going to be there with them.  You have created a small sanctuary of trust within the jungle of unpredictability: you have a made a promise that you intend to keep. 1

Bind Us Together

A promise creates a future for us, for our spouse, for our children, for our church.  That’s the first reason.  And the second is that promises are what bind us together in the midst of all that would pull us apart.  In Thornton Wilder’s play, The Skin of Our Teeth, one of the characters says this to her husband: “I didn’t marry you because you were perfect. . . I married you because you gave me a promise.”  She takes off her wedding ring and looks at it, and says,

Two imperfect people got married and it was the promise that made the marriage. . . And when our children were growing up, it wasn’t a house that protected them; and it wasn’t our love that protected them – it was that promise. 2

Promises made and promises kept are what bind imperfect people together.  Marriage vows, baptismal vows, church membership vows – through these promises we surrender part of cherished freedom, our precious autonomy, and bind ourselves to other people.  People who are different than we are.  People we love to be with sometimes, and love to get away from other times.  What holds us together is not that we always agree or enjoy each other in this marriage, in this family, in this congregation.  What holds us together now and for the long haul is this amazing thing called a promise.

Here’s a truth I’ve discovered: the promises I make in my best moments are what keep me going in my worst moments.  The promises I made when things were joyful and optimistic are what keep me going when things become painful and discouraging.  That goes for my marriage and my parenting as well as for my ministry.  These promises that I made in my best moments are what bind me to the proper things and keep me going even in my worst moments. 

Imitate God

Promises create a future for us.  Promises bind us together.  And one final thought.  We belong to a God who makes and keeps promises.  In our reading from Jeremiah 29, God promises to bring his people home and give them a future with hope.  And in our reading from 2 Corinthians 1 Paul says that all the promises of God find their Yes in Jesus Christ.  All God’s promises are fulfilled in what God has done for us in Jesus.  We belong to a God who binds himself to us by making and keeping promises.  And whenever we to make a promise and try to keep it, we’re acting like God himself.  Whenever we promise to be a loving and faithful spouse come what may, we’re imitating God.  Whenever we promise to be there for our children, even when they push us away, we’re imitating our heavenly Father.  Whenever we promise to be faithful church members, hanging in there with each other through theological differences and denominational crises, we’re imitating God. 

I quote from Lew Smedes again:

When we make and keep promises we are most of all like God. . . Among all the dimensions of the mature person in Christ, none comes closer to the character of our Lord than the daring to make a promise and the courage to keep the promises we make. 3

Why keep our promises?  Because they create a future for us in the face of all the unknowns.  Because they bind imperfect people like me and you into marriages and families and congregations.  Because these promises shape us into the likeness of the Lord who has promised us, “Lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.  You can count on me.”

As we close this morning and prepare for the baptism that follows, let’s take a moment to remember the promises we’ve made.  Some of us are able to keep those promises, and we’re deeply grateful.  Some of us are holding on, but struggling.  Some of us have had to let go, or had to accept the fact that someone else let go of us, broke the promise.  And today we need to know that in spite of that, we’re still loved by God, and his promise to us has never failed.  We come from lots of different places this morning, and the God who promises is here for each and every one of us.  “I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope.”  Let’s pray…

1. Lewis B. Smedes, “The Power of Promising,” Christianity Today (Jan. 21, 1983), p.18.
2. As quoted by Lewis B. Smedes in Caring and Commitment: Learning to Live the Love We Promise (Harper and Row, 1988), p.18.
3. Smedes, “The Power of Promising,” op.cit., p.19.